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Robo Call Headaches

Are they really necessary?

It seems I do not receive too many telephone calls from humans anymore. Rather, most are from computers (aka "robo calls") either soliciting something or informing me of the schedule of a maintenance worker. Like a lot of you, I am not immune to the absurd spam calls. One of my favorites is, "Stop what you're doing and listen carefully..." Yeah, like I'm going to drop everything and listen to some dolt trying to sell me something. I can usually hangup on such calls within one second.

Health insurance companies use robo calls, as do travel agencies. Many companies just want to get you on the line so they can transfer you to someone in Tibet who reads a script to sell you something. I take pleasure in hanging up just as the person is getting on the line.

During political seasons, it is not uncommon to be bombarded by robo calls from various campaigns. My friends complain about it, but rarely do I get any. Maybe it's because I've told them all to go where the sun doesn't shine so many times, I've been blackballed by both Democrats and Republicans alike. Quite often, these political calls are soliciting donations for campaigns. To my way of thinking, they wouldn't need more money if they simply stopped using this obnoxious form of communications.

Service companies like to use robo calls, such as for deliveries or to keep you abreast of when their people are going to be working at your home or office. For example, my lawn service, which applies fertilizer and pest control, dutifully calls me early in the week to let me know when an appointment is made. I then receive another reminder the day before. Interestingly, there is nothing for me to do or respond to, which makes me wonder why they don't either send an e-mail or text message instead. Maybe they believe we need to be reassured by the soothing voice of a recorded message. Frankly, I find it to be a colossal waste of my time.

Following one of Florida's legendary storms which knocked out power and cable, we naturally had trouble contacting both companies. We had to traverse voice mail jail and wait in queue a long time to talk to a representative who would only say their people were "assessing and evaluating" damage as opposed to fixing the outage. I became so frustrated with my cable operator I decided to switch companies again. As an aside, it seems I have to do this every two or three years.

My latest cable operator scheduled an appointment to install the service. From then on, robo calls took over. On the morning of the day when the technician was to arrive, I received my first call...

"This is Tampa Cable (fictitious company) calling to remind you that one of our technicians is scheduled to be at your home at (address) at...2 to 4 PM...today. It will be necessary for someone with a photo ID to be present for work to be performed. We estimate this work should take no more than...1...hour."

Okay, fine, I get the idea. However, at 1:00 PM I received robo call number two:

"This is Tampa Cable calling to remind you that one of our technicians is scheduled to be at your home at (address) at...2 to 4 PM...today. It will be necessary for someone with a photo ID to be present for work to be performed. We estimate this work should take no more than...1...hour."

It didn't end there though. My third and last call said:

"This is Tampa Cable calling to let you know your technician is on his way to your house at (address) and will be there in less than 30 minutes."

Now they had crossed over the line of obnoxiousness. I realize they are trying to keep the customer informed and their technicians on time, but it occurred to me what would happen if something went wrong along the way thereby causing a delay. Maybe I would get a robo call like this:

"This is Tampa Cable calling to let you know your technician has been delayed. He ate a burrito supreme at the Clearwater Taco Shack at...1236 US-19...and has had to make a stop at a gas station at...1457 US-19...and will be delayed...15...minutes. We thank you for your patience in this matter."

Frankly, I don't need too many reminders. Just make the appointment and keep it. Simple, right?

The one sad thing about all this, robo calls are normally more articulate and understandable than the average customer service rep.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Copyright © 2017 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

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