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Cell Phone Etiquette!!!

How to Use One Properly

By Maurice BernierPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Will somebody please tell me something? What in the world is wrong with some people?

When I was a lad no bigger than a banana, they had this extraordinary device called a telephone at home. It was nice and, like me, it only came in black. As I grew older (and maybe dumber), I discovered that these devices were also outside scattered around in various neighborhoods. The difference is that you needed a coin (10 cents) to operate them. And, like home, you had the added luxury called privacy. At home, if you were alone, no one else could hear your conversation. Outside, all you had to do is step into the phone booth, close the door behind you, drop your dime into the device, dial the number and chat away. It (and life) was that easy.

It is now 2017. Life is not that simple anymore. Things became complicated and even the phone has evolved. We now have what we call a cell phone which allows us to take our conversations anywhere and turn any place into our own telephone booth. I could be in my car and make or receive telephone calls. (No, I do not answer or make calls while I'm driving. I may be crazy, but I ain't stupid.) Even the cell phone has not dropped its metamorphosis. They can now store more types of information as well as take pictures. You can browse the internet, too. Why use a computer anymore? Your smartphone (as it is called) can practically do anything at all.

With all of that being said, I've wondered the same thing every single day. Why can't people continue their evolution? Their common sense has all of a sudden just stopped in its tracks.

Case in point? Well, let us look at the common cell/smartphone. When they invented the smartphone, I never thought the phone would actually be smarter than most of its users. I always thought that these newfangled devices would allow its users to tailor their degree of privacy. In other words, unlike the house phone and a booth phone, you could not only go anywhere, but you could conceivably go to a closet or safe and really isolate yourself from society if you want that level of privacy. Me? Honestly, I'd really like to be snug in my bed when I use my phone. (Gee! I kinda spilled the beans about my love life with that last sentence.) Even still, I am very content knowing that the person I communicated with is the only person who heard that conversation.

In public, however, I see a much different picture. Unless it involves me or is about me, I really don't want to know about it. PLEASE keep your conversations to yourself! I truly do not want to hear a single syllable of what you are chatting about on your phone. Just keep it to yourself. Lately, here in New York City, those who have phones, especially the most expensive units like the iPhone, want to flaunt their riches. Great! You have an iPhone. I am sure that the mugger who plans to rob you will appreciate the fact that you have great tastes in phones. Maybe, you should activate some sort of privacy mode.

Most of the time, my job requires that I take a bus and/or a train to get to work. I was truly amazed. Almost every passenger I saw on the bus or train had a cell phone in their hand. I could not even give you an accurate ratio. So, I watched a bench seat on a train lately. The seat could accommodate six people. Five out of the six passengers had a cell phone in their hand and in use. Some were texting, playing a game, watching a movie or just listening to some music. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with it. You bought your phone. You are not disturbing anyone. Have fun. Just realize that while you are doing it, you are also completely shut off from the rest of the world. That will send a signal to the socially undesirable individual that you are completely inattentive to the area around you. This is why people get robbed. Be alert, folks. We need more 'lerts out there (Yes, I know it was a bad pun. So what?) Capice?

And speaking of NYC, robberies and cell phones, why do you hormone-crazed teenaged girls insist on carrying said phone in your back pants pocket? The device is about 50% visible. Can't you do a far better job of concealing it? Your parents must love constantly replacing it at THEIR expense. If my children lost a cell phone because of their carelessness, that will be a lesson learned as far as I am concerned. They will have to use the Indian method which involves the use of smoke signals until they can buy their own phone. Daddy is hopelessly phone broke.

(CLARIFICATION: My wife is imaginary. My children are imaginary. My pathetic and hopeless life is unfortunately real.)

In conclusion, I feel that the cell phone is a marvelous invention that has really changed the world. No longer do I have to rush home to use the phone or look for a phone booth nearby. I can carry my communicator with me. I just hope that they can take it just one step further. I am really jealous of the ones they use in Star Trek. I want an app (as they are called) that can beam me to any place I wish to go because sometimes, in New York City, there seems to be no intelligent life around here when most people use their cell phones.

Photo by Igor Miske on Unsplash

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About the Creator

Maurice Bernier

I am a diehard New Yorker! I was born in, raised in and love my NYC. My blood bleeds orange & blue for my New York Mets. I hope that you like my work. I am cranking them out as fast as I can. Please enjoy & share with your friends.

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